I have made a tremendous discovery in the last few months that I would like to share with the world...
...but first, a public service announcement. If you are queasy about nipples, this post is not for you. That's right, we're talking nipples today, as if you didn't read the post title and get all excited.
No, I am not posting pictures of my nipples. I will take requests, though. This is not meant to be a titillating post (pun intended) either, but if this is how you get your jollies on the interwebs, who am I to judge?
Here's the problem that I know is shared by many other runners: when I run for a length of time, my shirts start to rub up against my nipples. If this goes on too long, those poor guys get chaffed. If I run long enough, chaffing turns to outright open sores, which leads immediately to...
...BLOODY NIPPLES.
I can handle blood. What I can't handle is the excruciating pain of my sore nipples getting hit with whatever shirt I happen to be wearing, each agonizing step bringing my pain-nips in touch with an object, making them cry out again with agony. At this point, there is no joy in Mammilla-ville. Even if I remove my shirt, the very air against my teats creates more pain. Complete and udder agony. Get it?
Thanks to Thesaurus.com for helping me with the last paragraph, by the way.
In the past I have used anti-friction creams, powders, and even put band-aids on the trouble spots to avoid this. But I am a hairy brute, and the band-aids usually fall off after a period of time. I was seriously wondering what I would do for extended runs, until today.
I was looking in the drawers one morning and found some moleskin that a previous tenant had left behind. Being an inventive chap I decided to give it a try and cut out two small squares. My after run analysis? If I had to condense this post to just five words, those words would be:
MOLESKIN IS BLISS FOR NIPPLES.
I have tried this on long runs of 24 Km, and up to about three and a half hours of running (that distance), so I hope I have this bloody nipple thing licked. Get your mind out of the gutter, you sicko.
...but first, a public service announcement. If you are queasy about nipples, this post is not for you. That's right, we're talking nipples today, as if you didn't read the post title and get all excited.
No, I am not posting pictures of my nipples. I will take requests, though. This is not meant to be a titillating post (pun intended) either, but if this is how you get your jollies on the interwebs, who am I to judge?
Here's the problem that I know is shared by many other runners: when I run for a length of time, my shirts start to rub up against my nipples. If this goes on too long, those poor guys get chaffed. If I run long enough, chaffing turns to outright open sores, which leads immediately to...
...BLOODY NIPPLES.
I can handle blood. What I can't handle is the excruciating pain of my sore nipples getting hit with whatever shirt I happen to be wearing, each agonizing step bringing my pain-nips in touch with an object, making them cry out again with agony. At this point, there is no joy in Mammilla-ville. Even if I remove my shirt, the very air against my teats creates more pain. Complete and udder agony. Get it?
Thanks to Thesaurus.com for helping me with the last paragraph, by the way.
In the past I have used anti-friction creams, powders, and even put band-aids on the trouble spots to avoid this. But I am a hairy brute, and the band-aids usually fall off after a period of time. I was seriously wondering what I would do for extended runs, until today.
I was looking in the drawers one morning and found some moleskin that a previous tenant had left behind. Being an inventive chap I decided to give it a try and cut out two small squares. My after run analysis? If I had to condense this post to just five words, those words would be:
MOLESKIN IS BLISS FOR NIPPLES.
I have tried this on long runs of 24 Km, and up to about three and a half hours of running (that distance), so I hope I have this bloody nipple thing licked. Get your mind out of the gutter, you sicko.
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